lucius septimius 12/2/2019 6:23:24 AM

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buzzsawmonkey 12/2/2019 7:31:31 AM

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Clementine (updated)

Since the trend is towards “transgender”

And has been so for some time

A young minor sans vagina

Declared he was “Clementine”

You must call me, you must call me

You must call me “Clementine”—

Though my given name is Clement

You must call me “Clementine.”

He said he was “non-binary”

Hewing to the party line

And he’d frown at the wrong pronoun

Because he was “Clementine”

You must call me, you must call me

You must call me “Clementine”—

Though my given name is Clement

You must call me “Clementine.”

With hormone blockers and fake knockers,

Litigation for a time,

The court system did assist him

In becoming “Clementine”

You must call me, you must call me

You must call me “Clementine”—

Though my given name is Clement

You must call me “Clementine.”

But alas for our heroine!

Eventually he did find

Hormones and trimmin’ don’t make women

Deep down, he was masculine

Oh my darling, oh my darling,

Oh my darling “Clementine”—

What’s cut off is gone forever 

Dreadful sorry, Clementine.

doppelganglander 12/2/2019 7:38:05 AM

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Reply to buzzsawmonkey in 2:

Outstanding! 

doppelganglander 12/2/2019 7:42:55 AM

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Reply to lucius septimius in 1:

My house isn't as bad as I expected now that everyone's gone home and taken their stuff. Laundry is the main thing, plus floors and bathrooms.

buzzsawmonkey 12/2/2019 7:49:52 AM

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Reply to doppelganglander in 3:

Thanks!  There are a couple of other ditties in last night's Pub.

JCM 12/2/2019 7:51:16 AM

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Boys picked up a stomach bug... vomiting, fever ....

Home with them.

vxbush 12/2/2019 8:01:15 AM

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In #3 doppelganglander said: Outstanding! 

I must concur. Quite catchy. 

Occasional Reader 12/2/2019 10:24:42 AM

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Reply to JCM in 6:

I hope they're better soon (if not already).

I stayed home and slept until 10 this morning, after e-mailing the relevant parties at work; felt like I was coming down with something, body said to me "REST".  Feeling better now, and I'm at the office.  I think it's a combination of a low-grade cold, and just being wiped out from traveling with an energetic 4 year-old. 

Occasional Reader 12/2/2019 11:01:50 AM

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Buzz, I'd be interested in your take on this:  Why NYC feels less safe, even though major crime is still down.

It makes sense to me, and there's a similar "feel" here in DC (if maybe less extreme at both ends, that is, in terms of both how much safer the city became and felt from the late 90s through the mid-to-late, er, Aughties; and in terms of the perceived deterioration in more recent years).  

JCM 12/2/2019 11:09:45 AM

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Reply to Occasional Reader in 9:

What Seattle is doing is not count the reports... but what is referred to the prosecutors office, who then dismisses most drug and property violations.

Vola!

Crime is down but it up.

buzzsawmonkey 12/2/2019 11:51:01 AM

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Reply to Occasional Reader in 9:

Fare-beating is practically an Olympic sport at my subway stop.  It is commonplace, and despite whatever blather is put out by officialdom, is not actually policed or punished.

The idiot Brit who runs the NY subway system has plastered the cars with very-British and utterly-useless signs saying, "We'd rather your fare than your fine.  Please please please pretty please pay your fare."  The first sentence there is real; the latter my re-interpretation.  The signs are, in any case, useless; even supposing that the farebeaters can read them, and trouble to do so, a British "We'd rather..." is going to go noplace with people whose every other word is "mofo." 

The inattention to small infractions, and the increasing trend towards forgiving large infractions, which is what "early release" and "bail reform" amount to, all but guarantee that the city is going to slide over the precipice into chaos---but without the still-vibrant and highly-varied commerce that made the city still exciting, livable, and worthwhile in the equally-chaotic late Seventies/early Eighties.

buzzsawmonkey 12/2/2019 12:07:27 PM

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I would add that one of the greatest successes of Giuliani's "broken windows" law-enforcement policy of coming down hard on the small infractions to deter people from engaging in large ones was an incident where a Korean dry cleaner was murdered in her uptown establishment.  The police found one fingerprint---and they nabbed the murderer because he'd been arrested for farebeating and fingerprinted pursuant to that arrest.

The DeBlasio policy of letting the small infractions go ensures that this triumph of maintaining civic order will not be replicated anytime soon.

JCM 12/2/2019 12:10:44 PM

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Reply to buzzsawmonkey in 11:

Recent report locally on radio, a fare enforcement officer filed a complaint that she was reprimanded for report actual fare violations, and not under reporting as was the sub-rosa practice.

buzzsawmonkey 12/2/2019 12:37:59 PM

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Reply to JCM in 13:

Were I able to do so, I would plaster the subways with cartoon drawings of droopy-drawers guys (the most frequent farebeaters I've seen), with some similar drawings of bearded hipsters with topiaried hair (for racial balance) vaulting over the turnstiles and smirking "I'm stealing from YOU!", with the objective of riling up popular support against fare-beaters.

If I had my way, fare-beaters would be subject to the summary justice of being strapped to the subway barriers with plastic handcuffs, and "FARE-BEATER" signs hung around their necks, for several hours before being released.  

doppelganglander 12/2/2019 2:38:59 PM

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Reply to buzzsawmonkey in 14:

Public shaming is only effective with people who have a conscience.

buzzsawmonkey 12/2/2019 2:39:12 PM

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buzzsawmonkey 12/2/2019 2:40:06 PM

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In #15 doppelganglander said: Public shaming is only effective with people who have a conscience.

Being humiliated in public sometimes works.

doppelganglander 12/2/2019 4:11:41 PM

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Reply to buzzsawmonkey in 17:

Sometimes, but the people who deserve it most rarely feel humiliation. Look at Lisa Page, playing the victim when she should be changing her name and moving to a cabin in the woods.

lucius septimius 12/2/2019 4:35:02 PM

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Reply to doppelganglander in 18:

They should play this every time she appears on air.