buzzsawmonkey 12/8/2020 5:10:17 AM

1

Strange Fruitcake
---from the "Billie Holiday Holiday Songbook"

Christmas trees
Bring a strange fruitcake
Which nobody eats, and nobody bakes
Bright-colored fruit bits turned to candy
Strange fruitcake sittin' 'neath the Christmas tree

This delicacy's not served
Save at year's end
Every December it turns up again
And everyone wonders, when it appears
If it's the same one that they had last year

Here is a cake that is dense and hard
But that nobody ever dares discard
However, since it is soaked in rum
Everyone tries to choke down some

lucius septimius 12/8/2020 5:26:35 AM

2

vxbush 12/8/2020 6:07:53 AM

3

In #1 buzzsawmonkey said: Here is a cake that is dense and hard But that nobody ever dares discard However, since it is soaked in rum Everyone tries to choke down some

Heh. Good song. Chefs and specialist cooks try to turn people back on to fruitcake, but I think it's a leftover thing from earlier years that just doesn't make sense today, kind of the way jellied meats are. It is a product designed for a different era. 

Morning, campers. 

buzzsawmonkey 12/8/2020 6:16:21 AM

4

Reply to vxbush in 3:

It was a harmonic convergence between the thought that Billie Holiday never, to my knowledge, did a Christmas/holiday song (unlike, say, Eartha Kitt or Nat King Cole), so the "Billie Holiday Holiday Songbook" seemed amusing.   Plus, all my life I've heard people talk about how much they disliked fruitcake, so a riff on "Strange Fruit" seemed apropos.

buzzsawmonkey 12/8/2020 6:53:22 AM

5

vxbush 12/8/2020 6:56:17 AM

6

Reply to buzzsawmonkey in 4:

The Smithsonian has an article about the history of fruitcake, and considers using Roman "energy food" as a starting point, but then they point out that it really dates back to the Middle Ages, when dried fruit became a thing. You had to soak the fruit to get mass back, and of course why use water when something else will work just as well and make imbibing that much easier? 

I have to wonder if it is a cultural relic that is slated to go away in the era of BLM and intersectionality--but the argument could be made that it is the most intersectional of desserts with all those fruits in it. 

doppelganglander 12/8/2020 7:04:28 AM

7

Reply to vxbush in 6:

Cool, I need to find the article. Of course drinking water was dangerous, and brandy or another liquor would preserve the cake for months (or years). Fruitcake is one of the few things my paternal grandmother was known for making. After her death, my aunt took over for a few years.

vxbush 12/8/2020 7:11:12 AM

8

In #7 doppelganglander said: Cool, I need to find the article.

Ask, and ye shall find. 

vxbush 12/8/2020 7:11:42 AM

9

In #5 buzzsawmonkey said: Maybe I should start on, "I'll Stay Home for Christmas, You Can Lockdown Me."

Do it! But I might change that to, "You can lock me down".

lucius septimius 12/8/2020 7:16:34 AM

10

Reply to vxbush in 8:

I used to make Stollen at Christmas time.  Haven't done that in years.

buzzsawmonkey 12/8/2020 7:22:07 AM

11

In #9 vxbush said: Do it! But I might change that to, "You can lock me down".

I like to stick to the rhythms and rhymes of originals as closely as possible when doing a parody, and the original line/title is "I'll be home for Christmas, you can count on me."  The change you suggest might work---I'd have to take it back to the shop and put it up on the lift before I know.

vxbush 12/8/2020 7:23:32 AM

12

In #10 lucius septimius said: I used to make Stollen at Christmas time.  Haven't done that in years.

All this talk of Christmas desserts is making me think I need to make the Christmas cookie recipe I got from a friend years ago. I don't know what they are called, but oh they are good. Tons of cream cheese in them. *slurp*

vxbush 12/8/2020 7:25:04 AM

13

In #11 buzzsawmonkey said: The change you suggest might work---I'd have to take it back to the shop and put it up on the lift before I know.

Whereas I was trying to recreate the syllable length to match the original. "Lockdown me" is going to "feel" weird when singing it in my head. 

Occasional Reader 12/8/2020 7:29:25 AM

14

In #2 lucius septimius said: R.I.P. Chuck Yeager, the greatest pilot anyone ever saw.

Hear, hear and word up.

lucius septimius 12/8/2020 8:04:49 AM

15

Reply to Occasional Reader in 14:

And now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all day.

JCM 12/8/2020 8:07:09 AM

16

Reply to lucius septimius in 2:

Godspeed, Gen. Yeager. A life well lived.

JCM 12/8/2020 8:08:28 AM

17

AG Pax­ton Sues Bat­tle­ground States for Uncon­sti­tu­tion­al Changes to 2020 Elec­tion Laws

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton today filed a lawsuit against Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin in the United States Supreme Court. The four states exploited the COVID-19 pandemic to justify ignoring federal and state election laws and unlawfully enacting last-minute changes, thus skewing the results of the 2020 General Election. The battleground states flooded their people with unlawful ballot applications and ballots while ignoring statutory requirements as to how they were received, evaluated and counted.

doppelganglander 12/8/2020 8:08:45 AM

18

Reply to vxbush in 8: 

Thank you!

lucius septimius 12/8/2020 8:08:48 AM

19

Reply to JCM in 16:

I always loved his cameo in The Right Stuff.

doppelganglander 12/8/2020 8:11:07 AM

20

Reply to JCM in 17:

How does the Texas AG have standing to sue other states in Federal court?

JCM 12/8/2020 8:14:12 AM

21

Reply to doppelganglander in 20:

They are harmed by violations in other states. Their electoral votes are damaged by fraud, also I suspect equal protection.

vxbush 12/8/2020 8:33:36 AM

22

In #20 doppelganglander said: How does the Texas AG have standing to sue other states in Federal court?

That was my question as well.

In #21 JCM said: They are harmed by violations in other states. Their electoral votes are damaged by fraud, also I suspect equal protection.

The one 

vxbush 12/8/2020 8:34:44 AM

23

Reply to vxbush in 22:

The one situation I have considered that works between states going to the Supreme Court has involved disputes on state borders, water rights, etc. I would never have considered this a possible venue for getting Supreme Court review, and it smells like a Hail Mary pass. 

JCM 12/8/2020 8:45:35 AM

24

Reply to vxbush in 22:

The TX suit points out that the states being sued made changes to electoral law ex post facto to the election, those laws are Constitutional required to go through the State Legislatures. A Constitution violation is a concern for all states.

Occasional Reader 12/8/2020 9:05:04 AM

25

In #16 JCM said: Godspeed, Gen. Yeager. A life well lived.

Toxic masculinity!  Jingoistic "patriotism'!  White privilege!  Carbon-spewing rape of Earth Mother Gaia!

vxbush 12/8/2020 9:06:39 AM

26

In #24 JCM said: The TX suit points out that the states being sued made changes to electoral law ex post facto to the election, those laws are Constitutional required to go through the State Legislatures. A Constitution violation is a concern for all states.

That sounds like it could be an opening for a suit as follows: California files a lawsuit against Texas because their laws governing oil extraction and drilling may not follow every jot and tittle of the Texas law, and so California files suit to force Texas to follow every single solitary law--and then proceeds to push Texas to follow California's law. 

Occasional Reader 12/8/2020 9:07:07 AM

27

In #23 vxbush said: The one situation I have considered that works between states going to the Supreme Court

Any inter-State dispute would meet jursidictional requirements for going to Federal Courts.

Standing is a different matter. 

vxbush 12/8/2020 9:08:51 AM

28

In #26 vxbush said: s because their day-to-day rules on oil extraction and drilling may not follow every jot and tittle of the Texas law

Fixed. 

JCM 12/8/2020 9:09:01 AM

29

Reply to vxbush in 26:

That would be different IMAO. Texas is suing over Constitutional violations, your example would not be.

Occasional Reader 12/8/2020 9:09:58 AM

30

So Little OR popped into my room at 3:40 and cheerfully announced "I'm done sleeping!".

I managed to get him back to bed, but couldn't myself fall asleep again for, I'd estimate, about 2 hours. Then he popped back in at 6:45.   

Needless to say, I'm not firing on all cylinders today.

doppelganglander 12/8/2020 9:15:48 AM

31

Reply to JCM in 21:

Okay. I guess we'll see how it plays out.

buzzsawmonkey 12/8/2020 9:50:06 AM

32

In #25 Occasional Reader said: Jingoistic "patriotism'! 

Jingo bells! Jingo bells! Jingo all the way!

JCM 12/8/2020 1:51:29 PM

33

Reply to JCM in 17:

SCOTUS put the case on the docket.