In #11 Occasional Reader said: But consider, 40 years ago people were lining up in the cold to buy cabbage patch kid dolls. Solomon in the Cabbage Patch In search of toys, Moms prowl the stores With lists and unsheathed Santa claws. They wade through ice, they walk through fire To find their child its heart's desire; And greatest prize of all to snatch? A doll born in the Cabbage Patch. Without one of these to adopt, The holidays will be a flop: So, though the toy be soon forgot, They all now hunt the plastic tot. The stores, ill served by Santa's elves, Can't keep the dolls stocked on their shelves. What happens, then, when mothers twain Both sight the last one to remain? Each grabs it, claiming hers by right, And won't give up without a fight; They tug and shout, they pull and thunder And all but rip the toy asunder, While other shoppers seek, confused, Security or T.V. News. Then Solomon, an employee, Strides fearless into the melee; In loud and kingly tones he cries, "Ladies, unhand that merchandise! You must not tear these goods to shreds, But leave the job to me instead; I'll neatly clip the doll in two And charge half-price to each of you." And like his namesake did of old The manikin he grasps ahold. But as Sol cuts the toy in half, Both of the mothers start to laugh. "If neither can have all," they say, "We will not take but half away; Now that the doll you've disembowelled, We both of us throw in the towel. Since neither takes, then neither lacks, And you can have the pieces back." So, smiling, off the mothers go To browse E.T. and G.I. Joe.
|