If a government rocket blows up, people complain that tax dollars are wasted.
If a private rocket blows up, as long as no one is hurt, the only people to complain would be stockholders, and they know what they are getting into.
So the private rockets can actually be developed more cheaply; this is how SpaceX did it. If a landing was botched, the people who paid to launch satellites didn't care - their satellites were launched successfully, and at a great price.
Yes, SpaceX did get NASA help - but in kind. Measurements of the interaction between a retrorocket plume and the atmosphere are important in a return flight, and they are necessary for landings on Mars bigger than the landers we have sent. NASA has the instruments, but would need to pay for a rocket flight; SpaceX was launching the rockets and wanted the measurements. So NASA made the measurements, in return for data for both SpaceX and NASA. A win-win situation,
NASA needs to be more like NACA and do the fundamental research and let industry do the development.